Gran's Apple Butter Blog

November 17, 2010

Going Home, Excerpt: Dark Night (3/VII)

Filed under: Books,Front Porch Rambles,Going Home,Gran,Life Journeys,Loss — Mary Batson - FrontPorchRambles @ 10:04 am

Chapter 3 – Dark Night 
from Going Home, by Mary Batson

One thing to remember, Gran would point out, is that for those of us who never had a home that felt like home – warm, loving, and unconditional – this journey can feel less like ‘going home’ and more like an adventure in finding home, like a buried treasure lost in the sands of time. Home becomes our very own creation, sparkling and new, fresh made to order.

We can remember our homes – or the hole where one was supposed to be – but we don’t want to remember, because our memories aren’t very pretty for one reason or another. On some level we sense that in going home on a bigger scale we’ll have to re-encounter some things we’ve tried hard to block out through the years. In these cases, most often we don’t want to be reminded of home. The word is only a bitter shell, reminding us of what we didn’t have, ripping off the bandage we’ve been carefully tending on a wound grown sour with poison.

True, this journey can be hard. Gran knew because she’d been there, but she hoped we would be brave enough to look through all that pain. We’re grown up now, and we can protect ourselves and stand up for our needs in ways we might not have been capable of before, as we push through these less pretty layers all the way back to the one original home we all share.

Don’t forget, Gran said, everything we’ve been through in life has made us stronger. No matter what happened, we’re strong enough to face our past now. We can do this. We have the lights of home guiding us through this dark night, and the rest of our team rooting from the base line, sending good vibes and all the cheers they’ve got to speed us on our way.

These experiences lead to journeys with deeply personal elements and aspects, and yet the stages are the same as our other travels. We’ve all gone through different challenges, climbing mountains that others might not recognize from the outside looking in. We’ve all got our own dark nights to go through on the way home, and we all can do it.

We’ve only to start within and work our way outward, and the pieces will come together as we progress, slowing forming a beautiful mosaic of the home we’ve all been dreaming of.

© Mary Batson, Going Home, Front Porch Rambles, and Gran’s Apple Butter Blog, 2010. All rights reserved.
Download Chapter 1 or order your copy at!
NOW AVAILABLE: Going Home: The Tour LIVE – 2 CD set. Mikey and Gran’s story put to music!


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