Gran's Apple Butter Blog

September 28, 2010

2/X Lasagna Time Travel

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mary Batson - FrontPorchRambles @ 12:54 pm

Chapter 2 – Lasagna Time Travel
Excerpt from Going Home, by Mary Batson

Gran’s ideas about parallel universes sometimes made me wonder what universe she came from – she certainly seemed to know an awful lot about them, and she seemed quite certain about a lot of things modern science is just beginning to study, things she was talking about thirty years ago. I don’t know where she came up with all those ideas, but it’s been interesting to watch as some of her more, um ..unique.. ideas have caught the attention of scientists around the globe.

I remember hearing her go on and on with one visitor about how we each live in our own universe in our own way and what the implications of these countless universes might be. Then the conversation moved on to the incredible potential of the human mind to learn and retrain itself, even heal itself. Gran would be thrilled to know about the studies out now on the power of prayer, although she’d laugh, ‘cause she knew about that a LONG time ago. Or how about electromagnetic energy, another of Gran’s pet topics? She was sure it was The Future, if we’d just keep digging, and now look at what they’re doing.

No matter the topic, Gran’s favorite metaphors usually involved food, or at least the ones she shared with me did.

Take her theory on space and time. Gran conceded that Einstein was headed in the right direction (and she liked his hair). It’s all curved, that’s right, no end, no beginning, like one big lasagna made from the same piece of pasta, layer after layer curving back and forth, fluted around the edges, all stacked up in a family size cake pan. Stick a toothpick in to see if it’s done and in this layer you find You Now and in the next you find You Then and in the next there’s You-Yet-To-Come. Except it’s all the same big noodle – a r-e-a-l-l-y long one, with all kinds of good stuff oozing out the edges the way only a good lasagna can. Man, I loved Gran’s lasagna.

Gran said it would be incredible if she could ever figure out how to ride that toothpick, ‘cause she figured that’s what time travel was all about. She’d stick her head up in one lasagna layer after another, taking a peek at whatever cheese-soaked goodness was happening at that particular spot, then keep on moving through the tomato sauce, dodging a chopped onion here and there, ’til she reached the ricotta, well on her way to the parmesan crown.

Whenever Gran started talking about this, we’d hear Grandpa Harry in the kitchen, quietly musing to himself about the impact of late night picture shows… too much Fuzzy can go to people’s heads, he thought. Gran would laugh, and then as if in defiance she’d bring out the Rest of Her Ideas to parade around the room to Grandpa Harry’s mortification. He never did learn to quit while he was ahead with that one.

One of Gran’s favorite theories was that we are the alien invaders on Planet Earth – the very ones we’ve been so terrified of encountering and so eager to deny. She thought we’d somehow forgotten this, that we’re just starting to remind ourselves through the stories and movies we entertain ourselves with, not realizing we’re writing and reading our own story as we shriek at tales of monsters from the deep blackness of space who come and destroy our beautiful world. I mean, how would you know?

I think she mainly brought that story up because Grandpa Harry would get so riled about it, and it was funny to watch his face turn red.

I don’t know. I kind of liked how Gran’s brain worked. Seemed like it all made perfect sense at the time. Over the years as I’ve looked back, sometimes doubting, I would tell myself it only made sense Because I Was Five. And now, looking back, no longer doubting, I tell myself it only made sense Because I Was Five.

Coming next week: Chapter 3 – The Big Picture

© Mary Batson, Going Home, Front Porch Rambles, and Gran’s Apple Butter Blog, 2010. All rights reserved.
Download Chapter 1 or order your copy at!


Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: